"Happy Holidays"...not for everyone

Years ago I was asked to preach in a church for Mother’s Day. What was normally a time to speak in joyful, upbeat tones I turned into a time of somber remembrance and reflection. I talked about women for whom it was not a “happy” Mother’s Day but recalled there were some women who were childless or others who had lost a child to the heartless grip of premature death. It was probably the most powerful message I have ever delivered. For the women there, someone had shined light of hope and comfort on the burden they had carried for years.

I am doing the same thing to “Happy Holidays.


The “Happy” usually comes not from stuff but from our relationships with people. Now is the time to cherish family and friends. For many, this will not be such a happy time. For they will have an aching emptiness in their hearts. There will be people no longer present at gift openings or family gatherings. They will have lost loved ones through death since this time last year and the heartache is still lingering in the shadows waiting to pounce on them and savage their hearts with ferocity.

Some are experiencing the living death of a loved one who no longer knows them due to Alzheimer’s. Their pain is unique indeed.

It has been eight years since my Mom died with congestive heart failure. This year of all years, I have thought about her more and more. Why? Probably due to physical conditions. My knees ache often and I have harder time getting around than I used to. Now it dawns on me how often I used to see my Mom struggle to rise up off of low sitting furniture or struggle to get her knees warmed up when she walked.

I am humbled when I realize at the most active times of my life, band concerts, football games and Boy Scout events, it was physically challenging for her to attend. I especially think about the long, steep climb to get up the ramp at Pasadena Memorial Football Stadium in Pasadena Texas. She attended countless football games and events there over the years. Then, followed it up with season tickets to A & M football when my brother made and eventually led the Aggie Band as a Drum Major.

She never complained. Why not? Because of “the joy set before her”, that is to see her sons and how they were growing and becoming responsible young men before her very eyes. She carried the burden of being a divorced and single Mom as a badge of honor and opportunity to love and pour her life into the two of us.

I look back and remember times our senior year in high school when my Mom would intentionally seek out our friends to say “Hi” to at band events. I used to wonder why and one day she told me. She knew kids who had not had parents attend ANY events during their high school careers. My Mom felt it her duty, no privilege to acknowledge the presence and price that kids had paid. She found it important that every child receive recognition and a little love for being there. They loved her back because of it.

So, love my life and family as I do, I somehow miss Mom more this year than others.

As you walk about this holiday season, pause and remember those who you have sent sympathy cards to in recent years. Call them or write note in your holiday cards letting them know you remember their loss and are praying for them. A kind word goes a long way.

If you are that person, from me to you, God bless you and may you know Him as your comfort and companion in these difficult days. You are not alone…we care.

Stunner in New Orleans…example for all of us.

I grew up in SE Houston and am very familiar with the “boat People “ who were gratefully transplanted there in the late 70’s. They came with no English skills, no friends but an insatiable desire to maximize freedom.

They believed that public education was a gift form God. Even if they had no homework, they still studied and read a great deal. They soon dominated the tops of the honor rolls throughout the greater Houston area.

They have become so successful they now suffer reverse discrimination where top universities limit the enrollment in their freshmen classes.

Now… the unthinkable has happened in New Orleans. A Viet-American has beat a sitting Congressman in Democratic dominated New Orleans.

Congrats to Joseph Cao for his win over Willie Jefferson. Congressman Cao graduated from high school in NW Houston, got a BS in Physics from Baylor and has made life long learning an ambition of his. It has paid off.

He is well respected in the community where he lives and serves. He is a new role model for conservatives and liberals alike. He strips away excuses for other minorities to say they are being held down. If he and Obama can rise to the top…what’s your excuse?

Friends Don’t Let Friends Shop at 5 am on Black Friday

As I read the report of a Wal-Mart employee being trampled to death in Long Island, I am deeply saddened.

 This will knock that stupid grin right of the smiley face that advertises Wal-Mart falling prices.

 Of our four children, one worked at a doorbuster sale and two others went shopping at that time.  I thank God none of them or their friends were hurt.

 My wife, youngest daughter and I went shopping between 7-9 am and we experienced the backlash from those who had been out since the wee hours Friday morning.

 It is no surprise how surly and selfish people can be when they are sleep deprived and hopped up on caffeine.   Each of my family members told tales of shoppers who cut in line, nudged, shoved and cursed them.  That was just in McDonalds.  It got worse inside the stores.

 I am now committed to online shopping more than ever.  I love Amazon where you can get free shipping, and for now, no sales tax.  You can have it gift wrapped, sent to multiple addresses and delivered right to the door.

When our youngest was a baby, she called the UPS truck the "present truck" because it brought gifts from grandparents.   I look forward to its' frequent returns to my house from now on.

No telling how much aggravation and blood pressure elevation you can save yourself.

 

Is it too early to remind people of He Who is the reason for the season?

Get Ready for the New Year NOW

It really makes sense to begin preparing for the 2009 now.  Begin to set aside 10 minutes each day to work on dreams, goal and action plans.  There are several good resources to help in this pursuit.

 

Shut Up, Stop Whining and Get  Life by Larry Winget.  This book is like a slap in the face or thumping your ears on a cold morning.  It is though well worth it.  Larry is a fascinating person and does not soft sell or varnish anything.  Do not read if you are too sensitive.  He will torch you.  However, it is a great book for graduating seniors from high school or college.

 

The Art of The Fresh Start: How to Keep Your New Year's Resolutions for a Lifetime by Glenna Salsbury.  This book is tremendous in its’ potential if you read it and apply it (Isn’t that true for every book?)  It is not as confrontational and has fill in the blanks to keep you on track.

 

Finally, The Success Principles by Jack Canfield.  Jack co-edits the Chicken Soup for the Soul series.  I discovered this book after Katrina smacked Slidell and read some of it daily.  If someone was to look for ONE VOLUME that was a exhaustive resource in the area of personal growth, this is the book.

 

Also, if you want to turn your vehicle into a learning center on wheels, I strongly recommend any CD or MP3 series by Jim Rohn.   Down home and simple, but easily applied.  Go to Jimrohn.com for further information.

November is a great time to plan next year.

I know most people make plans for next year at New Year’s. I think that is too late.

If you can begin NOW to plan how you want 2009 to go and set your goals and actions steps now, it will build momentum.

Besides, we all know that it is on the cusp of holiday season and things get too hectic to plan at that time.

How to plan? Begin with a dream of where you want to be and work backwards.

Here are some areas to prompt your thinking:

HEALTH- instead of being negative like losing weight how about be positive and improve your health. One easy suggestion is become a bottle baby. Carry a bottle of water with you all day and drink continuously. It will cleanse, refresh and help fight of appetite.

WEALTH- It is more than just money. Mine your relationships for the wealth you have with family and friends. Study, practice and teach your faith to help others bring value to your live. Find ways to increase income and reduce expenses.

To be continued…

Father's Day for the Fatherless

Happy Father’s Day. That phrase will echo across the land this weekend and rightfully so.

Millions of families will offer presents to deserving dads, who somehow end up paying for their own gift.

Ties will be modeled, TV trays unwrapped and some will be turned loose in Best Buy to get that “it’s really for my kids” HDTV that Dad really wants.

But how does one celebrate Father’s day when their Dad is no longer around?

How to celebrate when Dad was NEVER around as my case when Dad deserted my brother, mother and I for someone new when I was 4 years old?

You choose to honor the day and not especially the Dad. You can honor your Father in heaven.

How can I honor Father’s day? How about being a better one for my own children? How about begin praying NOW for the grandchildren yet unborn and the in-laws not yet in our family?

I can ask God’s vision for what He designed my current and future family to be and become and start working toward that vision.

I believe in family planning, but not in the usual sense.

I believe God has a plan for our families to honor Him and demonstrate His love and Life to our world.

It begins at home.

How will I celebrate Father’s Day?

I will spend time with each of my children, look into their eyes, ask a few questions about their dreams and see if they will let me look into their hearts.

Then, I will draw aside in stillness and quiet with my Father and let Him look me in the heart and accept his love for me!

Happy Father's Day!

You Never Know How the Blessing Will Flow

Big secret about me: I love people.

More than that, I love helping people.

Several years ago, I took a class to help me grow I my confidence in my insurance business. It was to help me better understand who I am, what I do effortlessly and how I can bless others.

One exercise was to survey 10-15 people who know me well and ask the following questions:

What makes me unique?

What makes me stand out in a crowd?

What do I do well?

It is a humbling and eye opening exercise I would encourage you to try.

The things that came out about me most consistently were:

- good communicator both with individuals and in public

- passion for people and their needs

- distinctive physical presence- not just size, but height and voice

One thing that came up with people who know me best is that I LOVE to get to know people’s needs and then bring every resource to bear that I can to help them.

GUILTY AS CHARGED!

I will share some stories in future blogs how the Lord has me in the right place a right time to help others. It is fun and fulfilling.

The Need to Read

Read any good books lately? How about read any good books about books?

I just started a book that is going to change my life. (If I put it into practice).

One of my favorite mentors by media is Jim Rohn. He has as good presentation on how to start a library. In fact, he points out that in homes of well to do and successful people, many of them have dedicated rooms as a library. He also points out that only 3% of the US population have library cards.

Imagine that. The wisdom of the world, tons of ideas and ways to see how other achieved successes available for free and we do nothing about it.

I admit, the love of reading bloomed late in my life. When I was in high school and college I only read what I had to for school. When I worked on a master’s in theology, the reading got much more extensive an in depth.

My twin brother however, was abnormal. He read al the time. He read between classes at high school and on weekends. I thought he was weird then. (Still think him that way today as well but for different reasons).

Well, when my wife were visiting he and his wife in Philadelphia 22 years ago, he made a bet that he could introduce me to a book that I would be unable to put down if I finished the first chapter.

I am thinking easy money on my vacation.

The tricky devil handed my The Hunt for Red October by Tom Clancy. I was lost in that book for the rest of the trip.

I then began to read for pleasure-imagine that.

Back to Jim Rohn. He suggests a book I just started that I commend to one and all. It is titled How to Read a Book by Mortimer Adler. It will challenge and change you if you buy it and begin to read it.

I realize I have read for facts and a little understanding for my whole life. Now I want to learn to read for insight, depth and to wrestle with the minds of great authors through the centuries.

I intend to write and publish my first book this year and will use Adler’s book to better prepare me.

Another resource I highly recommend is www.powa.org. It will help you develop skills in writing.

Opening Lines

I am having such a good time blogging for Senior Solutions I decided to do this one as well to share more personal insights and ideas not limited to senior topics.

There will be comments on books read, movies and DVD reviews and anything I find newsworthy.

Just returned from seeing Horton Hears a Who. Good family films with gorgeous animation and CGI. Dr. Seuss was a literary genius and much enjoyed around our household. We like Seussical a great deal. Our son was in this musical for his senior year dn we were skeptical on opening night. We were wrong. The music is fun and the message is really tremendous.

Upon return, watched the latest episode of Oprah's Big Give. If you have not seen this show, you are missing some great heart tugging adventures. It is a great reminder of how a little thoughtfulness and creativity can bring blessings to the lives of others that are not measured in decimals an dollars.